What's in a Mayne?

When Seth and I got engaged, almost immediately after (and I mean the next hour because we were visiting folks in Ventura when he proposed) we were asked when the wedding was going to be.  We really didn't even talk about setting a date for a few weeks after our engagement because, well, we wanted to just enjoy being engaged.  There was plenty of planning to do, and before we got caught up in that, we both wanted to have a few weeks of just celebrating in our new agreement we'd made.

Much the same, it seems like once people learned we were pregnant, the very next question was "Are you going to find out the sex?" and now that we have announced the sex, it's "Do you have a name yet?"  And much like our approach to being engaged, we enjoyed the first half of our pregnancy not really planning anything, but just taking in the experiences we were having.  Aside from planning how and when to make our announcement about the pregnancy and then about the sex of the baby, we may have had just a few conversations about which room will be the baby's nursery, how much maternity leave I will take, and what kind of nursery themes we'd want to do.  But, it does seem like the time has come to truly start thinking about names for our Cantaloupe, and I find this incredibly hard to do.

First of all, back when Seth and I were dating, we talked about names we liked for kids.  I've always found it somewhat telling about a person to find out what kind of names he/she would bestow upon offspring.  In fact, this is how Winston, our pug, became Winston, because Seth originally offered that up as a name for a baby boy and I flatly refused and told him if he stuck with me, he'd only get to use that name on a dog.  Which he did.  Seth has old-man taste in names.  He likes names that were popular in the late 1800s, and not the ones that have managed to stick around, either.  Names that just make me think of some old fuddy-duddies in tweed business suits running crooked New England accounting firms.

But, Seth doesn't really appreciate my taste in names either (though I can't imagine why).  I prefer names that are classic without being stuffy, or that are very masculine for a boy or very feminine for a girl.  We at least both agree that we won't be choosing common androgynous names like Jamie, Terri, Robin, etc.  I'm not saying Cantaloupe might not end up with a name that USED to be a boy's name (like, back in the early 1900s), but she won't be named Ryan, or Charlie, or Mychael, or anything like that.  Aside from the fact that there are a Ryan and a Charlie and a Michael on my side of the family, I don't like this trend of using boys names as girls names because people want to avoid sexism.  I don't really see that as avoiding sexism... In fact I think it perpetuates it.

But I digress.

Another big problem we have is our last name.  Mind you, I think it's lovely.  I do miss being Emily Krech as far as the pride I had in my last name (I'm not saying I wish I weren't married to Seth), but I'm okay with being Emily Mayne.  Mayne is way easier to say and to spell, and most of the time people get the pronunciation right on the first time (I do not miss the days when I was Emily Kreech, Emily Crutch, Emily Creche, Emily Creesh, or any other perversion of Krech, which is said exactly how it looks... it rhymes with fetch.  It's not that hard.).  Anyway, Mayne is also Irish which I find kinda cool, and it's one syllable which is nice, and it generally has a lot of things going for it.  I'm enjoying being a Mayne.

However...  Do you know how many problems this surname causes when trying to come up with a first name?  No?  Well, let me enlighten you:

• M

First off, let's talk about the letter M.  It is a wonderful leading letter for a first name.  There are many first names that begin with M that Seth and I really like.  But I'm not into repetitive monograms.  Bully for people who can pull off a repeating first letter in their names (Margaret Mitchell, Joe Jackson, Ginny Gafford, etc.)  None of those names bother me, but I just don't want to bestow an M name on our kid because I don't want it to sound too story-booky (Once upon a time, there was a little girl named Molly Mayne).


Secondly about M, there are a million perfectly wonderful names that also end with M.  But, again, I have a problem thinking about the last letter of the first name getting lost in a blend into the first letter of the last name.  You dig?  Like Liam Mayne (not that this was on the table if we'd had a boy, it's just an example).  Everyone would think the poor boy was Leah Mayne.  So, phooey on M.

• N

My next problem is that not only do we have a pretty strong consonant at the beginning of our last name, there's a strong consonant sound at the end: N.  This poses a problem for me because names that begin, end, or carry a lot of Ns makes it seem like all you're doing is keeping your tongue on the roof of your mouth.  Try it: Nancy Mayne.  Shannon Mayne.  Rhiannon Mayne.  All I hear is na-na-na.

• AYNE

Now, the part I find most annoying.  The rhyming.  I have always loved the name Elaine.  You can't name a kid Elaine Mayne.  Or Jane Mayne.  Or a bazillion other boy or girl names like Blaine, Cain, Dane, Shane, Zane, Lane, Wayne, or Lorraine.  Just to name a few.  I'm still a little bitter over losing the name Elaine.

Not only are there a bunch of names that rhyme, but you get names that just sound funny with the -ayne sound.  John, for example.  John Mayne just automatically makes me think of John Wayne.  Or names (and this happens so much with girls names) that have that long "a" sound in them.  They just sound funny.  Elena Mayne.  Dana Mayne.  Peyton Mayne.  Layla Mayne.  Again, these are just examples to prove my point, and these are no where near any of the real names we are considering.  But you see what a conundrum we are in.  And I haven't gotten to the most peculiar part yet.

• MAINE

At one point, prior to conceiving our little girl, I was brainstorming for girls' names (as women tend to do for their unborn and not-yet-conceived offspring) and thought, oh, Augusta sounds so good with Mayne.  And then I realized, that's because of Augusta, Maine.  We might as well name her Portland, or Bangor.  So, clearly, girl names that double as names of cities in the state of Maine are out.  As are names of other states, like Virginia, or Georgia.  We have often joked that we should just name our kid Virginia Colorado North Dakota Mayne.

• MAIN/MANE/MEIN

And lastly, as you all know, we have to steer clear of anything that turns Mayne into a pun.  We are all about it for our dogs (Winston Bounding Mayne, Churchill Lo Mayne, Edgar Hugh Mayne, and Herbert Lion Mayne).  But I can't do that to a kid.  This trend stemmed, of course, from Seth's dad actually wanting to name Seth "Hugh".  I don't know if there's any truth to that, but that's what I've heard.

So while our list of middle names for dogs is sky-high, we are finding it quite difficult to brainstorm for names for our little Cantaloupe.  Add in to all of this the fact that I don't like most girl names in general, and we are really struggling.  I dislike girls names that are derivatives of boy names (Davida, Georgette, Johnna, etc).  I dislike girls names that are nouns (Rose, Lily, Opal, Pearl) with just one exception that I won't be sharing in case it makes it to the final cut.  I dislike girls names that begin with the letter D.  I don't know why; I just do.  I'm really, really picky when it comes to girls names.

And then there's that fact that we don't want to repeat any names that are in use or are similar to those in either of our families, and we have pretty large families.  So we are in for a tough few more weeks trying to decide what to name this chick.

But, we have decided one thing: we are not officially deciding on a name until we see her.  We'll probably go in with a few choices we've agreed on and then take time to meet her before we settle on the name.  And, to that end, we won't be sharing our short list of names because:
a) we don't want any positive or, especially, negative feedback that would make us feel either attached to or negatively toward a name, and
b) we don't want anyone to start calling her by a name until we've given it to her.
So, sorry if anyone wanted to get something embroidered with a monogram or a name.  You'll just have to wait until we meet her June.

Also, we're not really looking for suggestions.  I can almost guarantee you that if you suggest a name to me, I'm not going to like it.  Because I literally like about 20 girls names, and that's it.  So, if you decide to suggest a name to me, just be prepared that I'm going to make a face at it and say, thanks but no thanks.  Sorry.  I'm just that picky about girls names.

But we have received the following, very serious, suggestions:

• Amy Krepp - because when I was in grad school, the head of the program would alternate calling me Amy Krech and Emily Krepp.  I don't know why he didn't remember my name, but my classmates and I decided that clearly Amy Krepp was my alter-ego and any time I was in a bad mood it was rumored that Amy Krepp was in the office.
• Kevina - from my friend Kevin.  Who actually proposed Kevina Amy Krepp as the full name.
• Rapunzel - from my niece Addie, who is quite into the Disney princesses.

Ah, naming of children.  Such a big responsibility.