Closing the Chapter

Dear Baby Girl,

Today is going to be a busy day for me and your Daddy as we get prepared for your arrival tomorrow, so I imagine this will be the final entry for this "chapter" of this blog.  I intend to keep writing here all the wonderful, cute, adorable things you do once you are outside of my body, but I wanted to capture some of the feelings I've had for the last 9 months in one place.  Consider this the CliffsNotes of this blog, I suppose.

You and I have shared a body for the last 36 weeks. But your Daddy and I have been looking forward to meeting you for much, much longer than that.  We've wanted you for years.  Circumstances of finances, education programs, and medical complications made us wait longer than we wanted to to have you, so even though we've only known about your existence for the last 8 months, we've been waiting for you for what feels like an eternity.

Since September, you have been the cause of a whirlwind of beautiful emotions for me.  From hope that you would be created, to fear that you wouldn't stick, to wonder at the sound of your heartbeat, to anxiety over your development, to relief over your good health, to joy over your first little flutter of movement and every single kick thereafter, to amusement over your tiny hiccups,...  I have felt almost every emotion there is to feel over you already, and you aren't even out of my body yet.  I can't imagine what you have in store for me starting tomorrow.

I've never had an experience where I loved someone I hadn't met, until now.  Much as I might have tried throughout this pregnancy to guard myself in case something happened to you, I have grown more and more love in my heart for you than I ever thought was possible for someone I've only seen a handful of times on a blurry black and white screen.  I hope that once you join us tomorrow your Daddy and I make it abundantly clear every day how much we love you, how much we want you in our lives.  I know that you will soon charm us with your unique talents, gifts, and personality, but even now, though we don't know exactly who you are and how you'll behave or what you'll become, we love you.  I hope you'll always feel that you can be whoever it is that you will be and know that we love you. 

Love,
Mama