Now that I'm back from California, Evie and I have taken on fostering a cat for a friend at church who needed a place for her cat to stay while they work on getting into their new apartment. Evie promised she would help with the cat negotiations and it seems like we are going to need all the help we can get because Baghera (foster cat) and Cotto (Evie's cat) don't seem to get along too great. She's a sweet cat though, very curious and friendly. She enjoys being in my lap while I'm on calls.
So there's an interesting development in my life that I had been nervous about sharing with Evie. I wasn't sure how she was going to take the news, and fortunately it went even better than I had hoped. Matt and I have been dating and everything is going incredibly well. I never, ever expected my 20+ year friendship with Matt to turn into anything more, but there is an undeniable sweetness and goodness to him that I have always recognized, and Evie has always felt completely safe with him. When our house was broken into not long after he moved out, she called Matt to come over and help. When our bags were stolen in December on our UK trip, she called Matt even though he wasn't even in the country. She has always felt safe with him, and that increased even more while Matt was supervising her visits with Seth. If I were ever to date while Evie was under my roof (which I honestly had no intention of doing - I figured I'd wait til 2030, cause people are nuts out there...), I knew it had to be someone Evie trusted completely and who wanted her happiness and well-being just as much as mine or his own.
Interestingly, last year when it had only been a month or so since Seth and I split up, Evie and I were driving back from Matt's apartment where we had watched a Star Wars movie and had a lightsaber fight and Evie said to me, "You know, Mama, if you ever did want to date, you could date someone like Uncle Matt." At the time, dating was the farthest thing from my mind, but it was interesting to hear her say that.
When dating became an option, it turned out that Matt and I are quite compatible, which I suppose makes sense when someone has been a close friend for years and you have similar communication styles and want similar things from a relationship. We didn't know how it was going to go and we made a pact we would be honest with each other if one or the other of us wasn't feeling into it, but it was surprising how well we fit together. He adores Evie and would do anything for her - absolutely anything. And she is always and always will be my top priority and he isn't threatened by that; in fact, he wants to support me in that. She asks him to come to karate or every performance of her show or come over for dinner and he's there.
So this week, I sat her down and said, "Do you remember when you told me last year that I could date someone like Uncle Matt? What if I dated Uncle Matt himself?" And her immediate reaction was, "Yes! FINALLY!" I said, "Finally? What do you mean?" She said, "I've been trying to make sparks happen between you two!" Turns out that she has been wanting him to come over for dinners or come to events in part because she wanted us to be together... I asked her why she thinks we should be together and she said, "You're just compatible. You like a lot of the same things, and he's really nice to you, and you deserve someone nice."
I had been worried she would either not want me to date at all because didn't want to "share" me, or that she wouldn't want me to date Matt because of their special relationship, so I was so relieved when she was happy to hear about it. And I also think this shows her old-soul-ness... Her ability to think beyond herself and want someone good for her mom... I think that's incredible. Of course, he's also good for her, so it's not 100% selfless.
There has been a lot of darkness this year. I am really glad to have this news have been bright and happy for both of us - for all of us.
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