Difficulties for Four-and-a-Half Year-Olds

Tuesday, my dad reported that on their way home from him picking Evie up from school, dad asked her if she had done something (I'm fuzzy on these details exactly) already or was going to do it in the future.  She answered, "In the future," and then 30 seconds later, asked him what "future" meant.  He explained it was something that you hadn't done yet, but would be doing in the time to come, and she said, "Oh.  Like when me and Desmond decide if we want candy at our wedding."

On my drive to school with her one day, I was asking her what it was she likes so much about Desmond, expecting to hear her cute response of how she likes his brown hair or the clothes he wears.  But she said, "I like him because when we play pretend he rescues me.  And even if we don't have any kids, we will still love each other."  It kills me that I learned from Desmond's mom today that he won't be returning to their school, so I'm afraid Evie's 4-year-old romance may meet an end soon.  But I am still hoping we can schedule some playdates.

One day this week, Seth was helping Evie get ready for school and she was being less than cooperative.  He told her that if she would go get herself dressed, he would make her eggs.  She said, "Daddy, can you come with me?" and he said, "I can't come with you AND make eggs at the same time."  She thought about it and said ok, and went off to get dressed.  When she came out, he was putting shredded cheese in the eggs, as he always does when he makes scrambled eggs for her, and she started wailing, "I don't want that cheese!  I want yellow cheese!" by which she meant Kraft singles.  Seth said, "Evie, this is how I always make cheese for you, I always use this cheese."  Evie said, "But I don't know if I still like that cheese when I'm 4 and a half!"

On Friday we had a snow day and I had not braved the crowds the day before in order to get bread and milk, so after spending much of the morning with Evie, including a short trek out to try to have a snowball flight to no avail (due to the snow being too wet), I told Evie I would be going to the store and to let Daddy know if she needed anything.  Seth reported that Evie came into our bedroom where he was sleeping and said, "Daddy, I need help picking the movie I want."  Seth said, "I'll get up in a few minutes and help you."  She asked him to get up right then and he said he'd be there in just a few minutes.  She opened the curtains, "to help [him] wake up better."  Seth asked her to shut them.  She did and then walked out of the room, leaving the door open.  Seth called back to her, "Evie, shut the door, please."  Evie said, "I'm leaving it open so you'll get up faster."  Seth, losing patience a little, said, "Evie, shut the door!"  Evie came back and slammed the door, waited a few seconds and said under her breath with disdain and disgust, "Shut the door...." and stomped off.  It's so much like something that Seth or I would say that I had tears rolling down my cheeks from laughing so hard when he told me.

Yesterday, I was ordained as an Elder in the Presbyterian Church, USA.  I had asked my mom if she would bring Evie back in from the nursery to watch that part of the service because I thought it was important for her to see that I was making this commitment.  We talked about it before church, about what it means to be an elder and why I thought I should do it, about the questions I would have to answer in front of the congregation and how previously ordained elders would be coming up to put their hands on my during my ordination.  After the ordination and installation, the congregation was invited to come forward and greet me and the other elders being installed and Evie was right in line with them.  She called out to me, "Mama!  Mama!" to get my attention from everyone else extending their hands and hugs, and she jumped up in my arms and whispered in my ear, "Thank you, Mama.  I love you."

So much of what I do, I do with the thought of showing Evie what is important in life.  This dedication to our church, expression of my faith, willingness to serve to preserve a church that I hope will be there throughout Evie's childhood - I wouldn't say it is all for her, but she was not far from my mind when I was considering the call.  I hope she will grow up in the church and come to feel God's importance and influence in her life, as I do, and that she will see that women have a place in the leadership of the church (something that sets PCUSA apart from other Presbyterian forms of faith), and that she will reap the benefits now and later of having been raised in a church that values her.

After church, we went to lunch and then home for a nap.  I found her on her floor, instead of in her bed, wrapped up in a blanket made by Annalisa, and her cheshire cat's tail.

She kept napping, even after I'd tried to wake her up so she would sleep that nap.  She fell back asleep on me in the living room.  Truly, there is no better feeling than having a precious little girl sleep on your chest.